dismissed without a clue

I am so frustrated! I want to write down all about what happened yesterday but because I have this stupid headache, I can't concentrate and the overly inconsiderate person who is tending the internet cafe shop where I'm in keeps playing the song "Fashionista" over and over again and it's killing my brain! I want to burst, but because I know I'm human and not just another bubble, I won't. I will get a hold of myself and try to stay in one sane piece so I can calmly and rationally compose a freakin' entry.

(INHALES...)

(EXHALES...)

I think I'm good to go.

So.. I didn't get the job at the call center. I really wanted to but I guess it wasn't meant to be. I'm sad and disappointed and hurt. I wept and moped the whole night last night while consuming three packs of peanuts and a glass of ice cold Coke while watching Sex and the City on DVD. I now have the puffiest eye bags in the world and it's funny how they make me look chubbier and how oddly that makes me feel good even for just a little bit.

Somehow, I think I already knew. I could sense it right after leaving the VP's office after he interviewed me the other night. But I was optimistic and I didn't want to think that I wouldn't get in. The person who gave the initial interview last week confronted all the other applicants that evening right after we all finished doing the final interview so she could tell us what the next step was. She told us that she would text us the results the next morning. If we get a text from her, it means we passed but if we didn't get a text, it'll only mean that we didn't get the job. The next morning, I waited and waited for that one text message that'll completely make my day, but as 12noon arrived, I knew it.

It was hard for me to believe it but after a while, I didn't mind anymore that I didn't get in. I was just reeally stunned that I didn't. I know in my heart that I am qualified for the job, but maybe I said something that might have steered the VP away. I'm guessing that would be that I didn't have any past job experiences or that I said that I didn't know much when asked if I knew anything about the company. Whatever the reason may be, it's all okay now. I get it now, you win some you lose some.

That afternoon, I decided to go to my friend's post-birthday pool party celebration. I had this indescribably peaceful but happy feeling overcome me as I saw everybody. Being there made me forget my worries and the awful feelings that I've been experiencing all morning. We got to catch up on each other's lives and had some fun over chips and drinks. It was a real treat to see them again after so long. I miss them a lot and I'm glad that I was able to spend time with them. Real friends are rare to find, I'm glad that I already have them right here.

The morning that I was waiting for that validation, I received this text from a friend :

"don't waste a minute by not being happy..
if one window closes, run to the next window --
or break down a fuckin' door.."

It was the perfect quote I needed. It was funny and at the same time very inspiring. Maybe I'll break down a fuckin door sometime, but in the meantime, I might as well jump through open windows. Windows of more opportunities that is. :)

TO ARENCE:

♥ I LOVE YOU ♥
Ü

ex revealed

I just found out that the tattooed guy from the interview was my cousin's ex-boyfriend. I kept laughing when I found out and I really don't why. That's why he looked really familiar. I would've probably figured it out if not for his additional skin art on his arm and his long hair. Anyway, I just really thought it was funny to discover this.

I just finished having my braces adjusted and in a short while I'll be meeting Arence at SM. I'm having my final interview tonight and we're supposed to be there at 7pm. We figured that we had some time to spare, why not waste it at the mall? I hope that this final interview will be a breeze but I doubt it. The interviewer this time will be the VP of the company himself. Good Luck to me and I hope that I wont stutter and make a fool out of myself like I happen to have been the last time.

where's a pen when i really need one?

I survived my first job interview today and what an experience.

As planned, I went over to the company of my choice today with Arence. We met up around 4pm at our usual meeting place and off we went. I was wearing slacks, a collared blouse and pointy heeled shoes. I couldn't feel more uneasy wearing something so corporate again. I had my resume in hand and a handbag that I only use on occasions like these. Just like my PDPR days..

To tell you honestly, I didn't prepare for the interview. I didn't practice or anything. My resume looked like shit and the paper that the guards at the front desk gave me to answer looked as messed up as my resume. The ultimate worst thing was I wasn't bringing a PEN! Yes a freakin PEN! I am such a dimwit. I was so embarrassed when the guard gave me this look and said "Wala kang ballpen?". They were nice, courteous guards which made it even more humiliating. Total mortification of my pride right there. Anyway, I got over it eventually. Next time, I'm bringing a trusty Parker.

I won't go into details with the interview proper. It was okay, I got a bit nervous when it was my turn. I didn't know that being interviewed with other applicants at the same time could be intimidating. I didn't get the final interview today but I will go back this Friday. Hopefully I'll nail this one. The interviewer felt that she wanted me to have the final interview but she hesitated and said I need to practice more on my 'soft' voice but other than that, I was good. Out of the other nine applicants, three, including me, impressed the interviewer most. I scored points with my fluency in English. I'm grateful that I grew up in a family that used English as a medium in communicating. My years of speaking the language is finally paying off.

After one and a half hours, we were all sent home except for this one guy from FEU with cool tattoos who got the final interview tonight. Good luck to him, he's going to need all the patience in the world tonight because final interviews can reach upto three in the morning and from what I saw, he was bringing nothing but a magazine in hand. When I go back this Friday for my final interview, I'm bringing the DSLite, some food and water and my best guy friend in the world aka Arence, with me. We'll crash the waiting room and sleep everywhere haha just kidddiing.

Ended the night eating streetfood along the market area. Man were those fried lumpias delicious! and the mochi was delightful. The best 20 bucks you could ever spend on food.

popular tag

Who would've known?

Last night, I went to great lengths rummaging through every corner of my room in hopes of finding money. I wasn't lucky, not even close to forming ten pesos with the loose change I found.

I am so desperate to have money right now. My agenda for the week consist of attending two fiestas over the weekend, my barkada's baby shower, and maybe the alumni homecoming and I can't do it without any moolah in hand! I really don't know what to do? It's bad enough that I don't have any money but asking money from my folks would sound and look even worse. Man oh man do I need MONEY!

In other non-financial-crisis news, I have been promising myself to apply for this job at one of the local call centers here in the city (I bet you already know my main reason why) . Anyway, I'm still deciding if tomorrow would be a good day to go over to the company. My friend says that it's going to be a long wait but I guess it'll be worth it when I get accepted right? I haven't told my folks about this brave move yet and I actually don't plan on telling them until I get the job. The thing is, if I DO get the job, I'm risking a lot. I'm still hesitating over a lot of facts that will probably be affected if I do get in the call center business. I've got the strongest motivation but am I really ready enough for the job? I really hope I am. Lady luck, please be on my side.

Kelly Osborne's show Kelly Osbourne: Turning Japanse is premiering tonight on the Travel and Living channel. I'm so giddy with excitement. I want to become a freakin Japanese! Sayoonara!

the reason why i'm stick thin

Besides my habit of staying up til the wee hours of the morning and having a very fast metabolism, I think one of the main reasons that I'm thin as Jack Skellington is because I am not eating the right food. It's not that I don't eat the right food, it's just that the right food isn't always available.

My mother was never a fan of cooking. Because of having a carinderia in front of our house, a chain of lechon manok roasters nearby and restaurants just within the area, she has always depended on them for our basic need for food.

I hate eating charcoal roasted chicken almost everyday of the week. It makes me barf just reheating and eating the same viand on my next meal. What's worse is eating leftover food after days of being in the fridge. It's totally unappetizing if you ask me. I used to like lechon manok until we started having it for dinner everyday. Even the most scrumptious, mouthwatering and appealing dish when eaten all the time can be tiring and nauseating.

When my mom forgot that I didn't have lunch yet, I got really mad. I couldn't believe how insensitive she could be? I mean, it was already 2pm and there wasn't any food on the table and she was just in her room watching tv! If I hadn't asked why there wasn't any food, she would've probably left me starving till dinner time. She made a lame excuse of telling me that she didn't bother to cook or buy food anymore because she was going to make tacos later on. Like hello?! Starving daughter over here?? She never did cook the tacos but instead asked my dad to buy me lunch over at McDonald's. Even then, I didn't know if I would be really happy that I was having McDonald's for lunch or still get mad over the fact that she just left me starving like that.

Me and my mom... we have this love-hate relationship.
Sometimes we're like the closest of friends, and at times, the worst of mother-daughter you can imagine.
I love her eitherway...
I just wish she'd feed me that's all...