welcome 2008

So, it's 2:08 am on a Tuesday and the start of the new year. Another year has passed and a new one just ushered in. It's been one hell of a ride, 2007.. But now, I shall bid it farewell and all memories be kept in my mental and emotional diary and be treasured forever.

2007 was great - I made new friends, loved and got hurt, experienced being rejected and accepted at the same time, attended a friend's wedding, went to a carnival, learned a lot of new things and got to know more about myself better above all.

In preparation for the coming of 2008, my mom and I decided to really prepare for the meja noche. Sort of like making up for what happend on Christmas eve wherein we didn't cook a thing thinking that we would be able to have dinner at Chowking after the mass but didn't and ended up eating bread and hotdogs at my grandma's. So right after the mass at 8, we went straight home and had dinner. The dining table was overflowing with food! There was tacos (with all the ingredients like the lettuce, tomatoes, beef and cheef on separate platters), the spaghetti with the tuna sauce and a very big bowl of yummy fruit salad that had an extra kick of fresh juicy strawberries thrown in. It was a fun dinner, everyone was enjoying themselves and the food. Then right after, we took some photos. At last we have a new family portrait, yay!

After lola left, we all did our individual things while waiting for midnight to strike. Mike came back right after he took my lola home. We all watched CARS on the Disney channel which was fun. At exactly 11:30PM (Dec. 31), we lit these candles that my aunt gave us at the reunion. There were seven candles all different in color. Each candle symbolized various aspects of life like peace, wealth, health and etc. We were instructed to put out the flames at 12 midnight and arrange them from smallest to biggest. Then, the candle that melted the quickest will symbolize the good fortune that the New Year would bring us, followed by the rest. I forgot the arrangement but the orange candle died out first which was the gift of BRIGHTNESS. Just what I need this new year.

As the clock struck 12, our next door neighbors began firing out their firecrackers and fireworks to usher in the new year. It was fun to see them all excited and together as one happy family and enjoy the coming of the new year. Like they were, we too were excited and together as one happy family. We were all in my parent's room, fully airconditioned with all the windows and door closed because our living room and dining room smelled of fumes from the firecrackers and smoke coming from the outside. Dad popped out the wine cap and we toasted to a new year ahead of us. The family was never a fan of alcoholic drinks so my brothers really didn't appreciate the wine. I don't like wine but I drank mine anyways and I'm still drinking the leftover right now which I poured in a little bit of Coke as to lessen that bitter taste haha. We had hotdogs, ham and queso de bola then for dessert, there was the blueberry cheesecake my mom made and the mango float I made. We continued to watch CARS and when it finished, we watched Talladega Nights. We then realized that there was a theme to the shows that we were watching this evening. Race cars was it? My mom fell right of to sleep and after a while, Mike went home and Daryl and I tidied up the place so mom wouldn't have to worry about dishes in the sink when she wakes up.

I know it's tradition to have new year's resolution/s after every 365 days and I would like to share some of mine to all of you. I warn you that I may not accomplish everything but I hope for the best and at least do half of the list. I am ready for change especially if it's a change for the better so here goes my 2008 resolutions and goals (not in any particular order). A clean slate ready to be filled..

1. Do Project 365 (take a picture each day for a year)
2. Be less lazy, maybe start learning some new things
3. Spend less time on the internet (haha)
4. Play my guitar!!
5. Clean my room at least once a week
6. Help my family in any way possible
7. Be more efficient in accomplishing any tasks give
8. Live life. (socializing, clubbing, and finding more new friends so that I have more chain to hold on to whenever I'm blue).
9. Practice drawing
10. Don't stay up so late.
11. To become more articulate and adept at expressing myself.
12. To make no excuses, but do what has to be done.
13. Find my inner peace
14. Be more optimistic.
15. PRAY MORE OFTEN and attend mass regularly.
16. Donate blood (?!?)
17. Be organized in any aspect of my life
18. Be happy - genuinely happy.
19. Read more - because so far, I have only read 2 novels in my 20 years of existence but I'm currently reading Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman. Big thanks to Glenda.
20. Never give up (on anything. no matter what. try, try, try.)
21. Be open to new experiences.
22. Take more time for myself. Do what I WANT to do, not what anyone else wants.
23. Take a risk. A big one. (Something major. That will change my life.)
24. Stop procrastinating
    Wear my back brace more often
25. See my dentist regularly
26. Feed the dogs regularly on time
27. Be home on time
28. Be more selfish, because yes, people take advantage of me too much.
29. Drink beer more. (YES, DRINK BEER)
30. Get aother tattoo (this isn't a resolution I know but I want to add it here)
31. Practice more on my Nihonggo. Hai!
32. Keep in touch with friends whether through text or small get togethers
33. COOK.
34. Be more trusting of others
35. Be less cynical and sarcastic. haha yeah right.

Well, there you have it. MY LIST. It's a pretty long one I know but it's better than nothing. I have more resolutions but I simply can't remember them at the moment. I'm exhausted and I think I'm hitting the sack nah because this red wine is kicking in *hik!

I hope everyone had great start for the year. GOD bless and happy 2008 once more. :)

reunions

I attended mass twice today. Surprisingly, I am still in one piece. Whew.

Coincidentally, the two family reunions that I attended today had a mass included. Someone once said, "Ok lang yan. Just think of it as being blessed twice". Hookay? Anyhow, lunch time was spent at my lola's sister's place in Telabastagan. Every year, we have this reunion on the 30th, another coincidence right here because the reunion from my lola's side (mom's mom) and from my dad's side are exactly on the same date just at different times. And whaddya know, it's also my brother Daryl's birthday. We would always joke him that his birthday was always bonnga because he would always have two separate parties. The only thing missing is the cake, really.

The reunion at my lola's place was okay. I didn't like the food that much though. Same people came from last year and a few additions. Jo was there too, unfortunately she was too shy to mingle with my first cousins. The only person she wanted to mingle with was my brother whom she has this enormous crush on. Spent the extra time after eating taking photos of the event. I saw tito Lloyd's DSLR Canon and I shrank! I really want to own my own DSLR someday. The Sooner the better. Talked to my cousins and aunts and even had the time to have my picture taken with Lola. After what seemed to be like years, people started to leave and it was the best moment of the reunion ever.

We then attended the Henson family reunion (my dad's side) at Francisville around 6.30 pm. This time, the food was excellent and more appetizing than the one served last Christmas and the earlier reunion. For once this Christmas season, I found myself satisfying my palate and my tummy. After having the lychee sherbet dessert, my brothers and I didn't stay long because, well, we were really tired already and we all wanted to go home.

Reunions can be fun but sometimes, they can be boring as hell too especially if you really don't know your relatives that much and have no one to talk to at the event. Nevertheless, I enjoy attending family reunions. They give me this warm feeling knowing that even if families and relatives don't get to see each other that often, reunions feel like it was only yesterday since they last got together.

round in circles

It's been a couple of days after Christmas and well, you know the drill- it's time to spend those aguinaldos!

Arence and I decided to watch a movie yesterday at Robinsons, Pampanga. It's been ages since we last saw a movie together. We wanted to watch Resiklo and Sakal, Sakali, Saklolo but we ended up only seeing SSS. The movie was hilarious as expected but it was too long compared to the first one. Comedy flicks are great with the right script and actors, but it can be draggy when the movie is made too long. As usual, the cinema was SRO but luckily enough we were able to get us good seats. Because it was the MMFF season, we were disappointed not to see any foreign trailers before the movie started. BOOOO.

me and CNN at the overpass

After the movie, we hurried our starving tummies right to Burger King and ordered their ultimate burger promo: buy a Whopper Jr. meal = free Whopper Jr. for only P99! This is one of the best fast food deals ever. We love love loooove BURGER KING.; the juiciest beef patties, the freshest tomatos, the crunchiest lettuce, the fries and the free movies at 2pm! I know I sound overly enthusiastic about BK but it really is the best burger restau I've eaten at so far. The great thing about BK too is that they serve MUSTARD - my favorite condiment of all. We had apple pie too which was delicious but unfortunately, I only had a couple of bites because I was too full already to have dessert. Arence actually ate 2 of his burgers, while I on the other hand, kept it for later.

CNN was hungry too!

I really find it relaxing roaming around SM Pampanga especially if I'm with Arence. We love going to malls and SM Pamp is one of our faves. It was also an opportunity for me to find a gift for my inaanak which I was able to do and which I also think she'll love. We went to Toy Kingdom, the department store, and even played at one of the arcades. Arence got to play the pinball machine for the first time and he liked it very much. He was pretty good at it actually and we both had a blast playing it. We now both want pinball machines when we get our own places someday! haha

I really find it hard to buy something for myself when I have the extra money. I don't know, maybe it's because I feel that I appreciate buying someone something more than buying something for myself. But as unusual as it is for me not to buy something for myself, I bought a cute, small black bag with a white ribbon on it at Egg for my digicam. It was the perfect practical and fashionable thing I think I ever bought and I'm happy that I got it. Yay! When we didn't know where else to go, we decided to head to the jeepney terminal and try Boom na Boom out at Clark. It was past 9pm already but we thought that going to an amusement park was a great way to end the day.

CNN got to ride the roller coaster and the ferris wheel

but not the Super Loops :(

I've always been a fan of amusement parks. I just love the roller coasters and the adrenaline rushing rides. They always seem to scare the shit out of me and at the same time, give me that thrill and excitement that I always yearn for in a place like Boom na Boom. Boom na Boom gave me just that with two of their main attractions: the Super Loops & the Boomerang. These two rides were crazy! But between the two, Super Loops was the crazier one.

My friend Ann mentioned that this ride is not for the faint of heart; she forgot it wasn't for weak tummies too! haha My heart is fine when it comes to extreme rides like the Super Loops, what I'm always concerned about is my TUMMY. I hate the feeling of plunging head or body first into the ground and the lightness we all feel in the tummy everytime we experience this. Imagine going around a gigantic circle more than 5 times back and forth with a speed of a roller coaster (or even faster) - that's what the Super Loops is all about and is made of. Arence and I never let go of the bars infront of us. Whatever happened, we just held on as tight as we could to them especially when we were suspended in the air upside down for several seconds. I could feel my head pounding and pressure coming from gahd knows where. By far one of the scariest rides I've been on but it was all worth the experience. Few are chosen and we are proud to be one of those few.

'twas a great day and hopefully, more of these kinds of adventures will happen soon. :)

a Merry Christmas indeed

Christmas day is finally over and it was exceptionally and surprisingly FUN. :)

I didn't think that I'd enjoy this Christmas but I did. Being able to feel the spirit of Christmas on the day itself was the most overwhelming thing. I almost thought that I was going to end up as a Scrooge this year with all that humbag and doubts of Christmas being a total bummer - but I was totally wrong.

Christmas day was full of fun and games. Every Christmas is a reunion for the Quiazon clan and we never fail to amuse ourselves with party tricks and entertainment. This year's celebration felt more exciting and more joyous than the previous Christmases. The family would always come up with certain gimics to jazz up the reunion and to make every Christmas more unique and more festive. This year's theme was "Naughty or Nice?" and everyone wore something that would represent whether they were one of both. Almost everyone came with costumes which was really cool because it just shows how much of a sport we all are.

The food was delicious as always; we had one whole lechon on the table, paella, salad and the softest ox-tongue in red sauce! There wasn't much food but it was enough to satisfy everybody's tummy that day. The dessert was pretty abundant with fruitcake, food for the god, my mom's blueberry cheesecake (which was a hit), a chocolate cake and my Pepper and Chocolate Chip cookies. I was happy from the positive responses from the Pepper Cookies that I made because it was the first time I ever tried baking them and they turned out good. Yay!

After everyone had finished eating and have rested, the program began to take place with my aunt, Tita Zeneth, as this year's MC. First order of business was the family introduction with our respective costumes. Then followed the games and a performance by us. My brothers, mom and I did a band presentation and played "Ewan". It was my second debut as a guitarist at a family gathering. It felt pretty good playing again even if it was just infront of my relatives. The games that my aunt prepared were the most creative games I've seen and participated in. Everybody loved them and had such a blast with each one. And after all the games and commercial breaks, it was time for the giving of the gifts which I think is what everyone awaits for during Christmas.

I've noticed that as the years pass and as I and the rest of my cousins get older, we get money instead of gifts now. I like the money as presents but I miss how I would recieve bags and boxed presents filled with goodies that I would curiously open as soon as I get them; I miss the excitement and thrill of guessing what present I would be getting as I unwrap the Christmas paper from the gifts; I miss bringing home gifts that I can actually use and not spend. It's true that when we grow up, things that we were used to will eventually change and this includes how people would give presents on Christmas. Nonetheless, I am pretty much content with the gifts I got this year which include:

• Neverwhere book by Neil Geiman from my bestfriend GLENDA
• baking tools, a halloween tray, and the coolest stuffed toy cat in the universe from ARENCE
• a Domokun display toy from my kuya MIKE
• a penguin designed tshirt and some socks from MOM & DAD
• pink slacks from my AUNT ALMA
• lipgloss from TITA ROWH
• a silicon cone-shaped cupcake mold, Betty Crocker food coloring and icing from TITA SHY'
• and the rest were aguinaldos from other aunts and my lolo's and lola's. I got a total of P_____.*hihi

I would've never expected this Christmas too be this happy. I should've given myself the benefit of the doubt. I was wrong about my feelings about the yuletide season. I was being nonchalant but I eventually gave the feeling up on Christmas eve and it felt great. This Christmas couldn't have been more perfect. Everyone was genuinely happy and I wasn't in any place to complain about the feeling either.

What did I learn about this Christmas season?

I learned that gifts and money will always be present during this season of giving, but the best thing that you could give anyone is the gift of LOVE. Sounds a little cliche but at the most it's also so true. Christmas is made up of the people around you who care and love you even if you do the stupidest or the greatest of things.

I hope everyone had a good Christmas and may you still enjoy the rest of the holiday season and the resto of 2007. :)

♥♥♥

If you want a visual story of my Christmas, you can check out my Multiply and look for the Christmas albums. Enjoy!

retracting my claws

I thought about that previous entry that I wrote the other day. The one about me being a skeptic over something so small yet had this tremendous effect on me. I wasn't myself since the incident happend and I wasn't happy about it. There will always come a time wherein a girl such as myself, would think unpleasant thoughts about someone or something that will cause her to break into pieces. I don't want to be that girl. I don't want to eventually and slowly break into pieces over a pathetic thing like that. Even though it bothered me like crazy, I realized that it wasn't doing me any good. So I decided to let it go for the sake of my sanity and happiness. And after much contemplation, I finally was able to get over it.

Today was another boring day in the life of moi. I woke up around 3pm and ate like three tablespoons of rice and torta as my lunch meal. I never really liked torta especially the torta they sell at the carinderia infront of our house. I just hate how it looks like and sometimes how it tastes like. The ironic thing about it though is that I love tortang talong and especially if my lola is the one who cooks it.

I suffered starvation til around 9.30 until I finally decided to buy some wanton noodles over at Chowking. I shouldn't have starved myself to death like that but it wasn't my fault. My mom told me that someone was going to pass by the house to get the blueberry cheesecake orders my mom made but unfortunately did not show up. I had to wait for them until later this evening just to realize that they weren't going to get them. I just hate it when that happens - people not showing up. It's like sooo irresponsible especially knowing that the client is mature enough and is at the age where they should know much about punctuality. It sickens me that people nowadays don't care about TIME. Time isn't supposed to be wasted, it's supposed to be maximized.

As I was heading back home from Chowking, I passed by Index again to check if any of my friends were there. Like always, the salon stairs was filled with people. People whom I really miss and miss hanging out with. They were a sight for sore eyes and I felt really happy to see them after a long time. I wished I could've stayed longer but I had to go back home because of the cheesecake thing. I really wish that I could hangout with them sometime soon. When I start my training and eventually, my job as a call center agent, I would probably have no time to see them anymore. Hopefully, despite my busy schedule in the near future, I would still find some time to be with them.

I got home very eager to slurp the soup and noodles I bought. I did just that and it was goooood. Eating on a very empty stomach could never feel this satisfying. The only thing that I wasn't happy about was the headache. For the past few days, I kept getting these unexplainable headaches. I can't seem to find the main cause and it's really annoying to the point of me wanting to shave my head off and jumping into a pool of cold water just to ease the discomforting feeling.

After I ate and have rested, I called Arence to check up on him. He and his highschool friends went on a swimming outing the other day and they had too much fun and got sick the following morning. I was hesitating at first if I was going to come over at their place but eventually changed my mind and left the house to visit him.

It was nice to see him again. After that awful, awkward and emotional night, I was prepared to be the way I used to be again and not think about that effin Sonny Ericson incident.

Talking to him with my sanity intact again was great. We laid on the bed with a large orange blanket covering our tired bodies and we talked about whatever. He told me about what happened during their stay at Poracay and I told him practically nothing about my day besides the fact that it was boring, I had a headache and that I was pissed at whoever I was waiting for to pick up the cheesecakes.

I know this'll sound peculiar, but I sometimes like the idea of my boyfriend being sick. What I'm trying to point out from that statement is that I like taking care of him. It's one of my many hidden traits that people usually don't know of or if they do know, ungratefully take advantage of . I just like how I would make him feel better just by sitting or lying next to him. The feeling I would get by knowing that I've helped in any way is one of the best feelings in the world and I love it.

In other news, it's 2 days before Christmas and I can't wait. I wonder what goodies I'll be receiving this year. Hopefully I'd get as much moolah as I did last year so I can pay my dentist the 800 I owe her and still have some extra cash for me to spend on. :)

a very long engagement.. err post i mean

It's 2.30 in the morning. My eyes are a swollen and stingy, my lower back is killing me and I'm so exhausted that I could've easily fallen off to sleep as I came home this evening. But I didn't. I wanted to fall right off to sleep but I didn't.

I attended my friend Maan's wedding this afternoon. I wore this purple dress which had a vintage vibe to it and one of my mom's torturous strappy sandals. Once again, me in an attire that I barely can relate my personal style with, but surprisingly, which everyone loves. It was time for me to act all girly and delicate once more. But this time, it was all worth it: the agonizing shoes and the awkward feeling of me being in a very feminine and formal outfit was worth it.

Weddings aren't really my thing. I don't love attending them but I don't hate them either. I don't know what my stand is one matrimony. Maybe I'm still not convinced with the whole 'marriage' thing. I know I should be because there are a lot of living proofs and my parents are among the millions of married couples out there, but sometimes, I can't help but wonder what is there in a married life that you can't get with that of a single life? Really. I just have to wonder.. Anyways, enough about my POV's on marriage and on to my friend's special day.

She was waiting inside the bridal car when we got back to the church from a nearby store. I was excited and at the same time hesitant to see her before she walks down the aisle. I didn't want to spoil the moment wherein I would gasp as she appears from the doors of the church. But my excitement got to me so I decided and went to see her. And as I opened the door to the car, I saw her. She looked so beautiful and so fragile. I almost let a tear out when I saw her. I felt this very warm feeling inside as gave her a kiss on the cheek and told her how beautiful she was. She didn't want me to act all mushy because she didn't want to cry just yet. We talked and we took some pictures and after a few moments, my friends and I went in to get ready.

There were not that many people at the wedding. It was just a small but nonetheless extravagant event wherein only close family, relatives and friends were present. I actually expected some highschool friends of hers, but the only friends who were invited were us-her highshool barkada.

As the wedding started, I got goosebumps all over my arms. I couldn't believe that my friend is actually getting married right then and there. My anticipation grew when the organizers closed the church doors after everyone from the sponsors to the flower girls were all done walking down the aisle. This was it. Any minute now she was going to be walking through the church doors and people would just gasp and stare in amazement. As the doors slowly opened by two men in black suits, there she was. She was a breath of fresh air, a sight for sore eyes. She was an angel and she was the most beautiful thing in the world that moment. I got more goosebumps as she began walking down the red carpeted aisle and I started to get all emotional as well. It was so peaceful and intimate. The sun was shining down on her through the church windows making her appear as if she had this glowy aura around her. Then, she stopped to meet her parents halfway through the alter and kissed them both on the cheeks. It was so touching and the gesture that she made was so sincere. The moment couldn't be more perfect.

As the event went on, I was there sitting all alone on one of the benches of the church taking more photos of the celebration. I instantly had this thought of being a wedding photographer someday and thought how nice it would be to be the one taking the most precious and memorable moments of a couple's start to a new life ahead. I've always dreamed of becoming a professional photographer and weddings were always one of the areas I would want to venture in and showcase my skills as a sharp shooter. Maybe if I strive harder, this dream might materialize and turn into reality.

Like any other wedding celebrations, the usual things occured: the binding of the couple with the rope, the lighting of the candles, the exchange of rings, that official kiss and signing of the papers. All of these were present during the event, even the picture taking at the end which was there and surprisingly fast. It was a nice wedding, one which I will never forget and will always remember.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to stay long up til the reception. Right after the wedding, I immediately left to have another final job interview at the call center. The night before the wedding, Miss Gail called me on my phone and asked if I could come by the company to have another final interview. I had a tough time trying to figure out what to do and actually left her hanging on the other line unintentionally. Eventually I said yes to the offer.

I was there before the said time and waited til 7.30 before I was finally called to be interviewed again. It was like de ja vu as I entered that large area filled with cubicles containing PC sets. The only difference this time was I felt more relaxed and confident and I was wearing a darn dress for an interview. I didn't have any time to change so I just went there as is.

The interviewer was an American this time. She was very sweet and funny and I felt very at ease with her compared with the Arabian guy. It was soo cold in her office because she was trying to maintain the freshness of the holiday hams she was going to give away to probably her co-workers that night. It was a very short and quick interview. The only thing she asked was my educational background and if I was familiar with the computer. Then she told me that she was already hiring me and that she will inform me about our training next year through a text or a call. After shaking her hands once more before I left her office, I couldn't help but sigh in relief and smile. It felt good knowing that I was accepted and that I decided to go for it again.

After that, I headed back to the city only to find out that the reception of the wedding was over. So much for my 'friends' informing me about it. It really pisses me off when people are so selfish and when the only thing they can think of are themselves. Where the hell is your social responsibilty man? I paid for his gas and he couldn't even text me or answer my calls even though he told me his phone was in silent mode and that he was driving at the time. Sometimes I really don't know if he's just full of excuses. It's getting too old and draggy and it's not a very friend-like attitude. Anwyay, I let it go because I am not the one who is always leaving their friends hanging and so full of himself. I will not allow myself to be used and be treated that way again. I swear if he pisses me off again he's gonna have it.

Because I wasn't able to make it to the reception that night, I went and bought me a cheeseburger meal at McDo with my remaining money. Then, I went to Index to hangout with my other friends. Surprisingly, no matter how wild and crazy acting this group of friends are, they actually make me feel like I've known them longer and that we share this special relationship/bond that my other close friends and I don't have. Maybe it's the way they treat me as a friend and not just SOME KIND OF A FRIEND.

I wanted to drink last night but they ran out of beer when I got there and even if I wanted to buy even just one bottle of SML to ease my moodiness, I couldn't. We all left 30minutes after I arrived and I went to Arence's to chill for a bit.

I was glad that I had the extra time to see him last night. We were supposed to attend the reception but it was too late. We hungout outside their house sitting on the new beach chairs he bought the other day. It was nice. We sat there and talked and the only thing missing was the sight of the stars in the sky blocked by the trees.

I thought being there would calm my nerves, but apparently it didn't. Maybe for a while I felt relaxed and happy but as soon as he handed me his old Sonny Ericson phone which was resurrected the other day, I had this feeling of uneasiness overcome me. That phone had become the start of arguments and other ugliness in the past and it was right there infront of me as if it was taunting me. As I searched for old photos of us, I couldn't help but take a peek inside the messaging part of the unit. I wanted to read old text messages coming from me and maybe, just maybe, get a hint of the nostalgia I was looking for. But I didn't. That phone was a box full of bad memories. And I just had to wonder why he erased his sent items right after I gave it to him. It made me think if he was hiding something from me. Cuz if he weren't, he would've just left it as it was. I know it's his phone and he could do anything with it, but his actions left me in skepticism. He could've erased it after I left, but he did it when he knew I had control over his phone. I know I shouldn't be thinking like this, but it simply is unavoidable and it's breaking me.

It's just a few days before Christmas and I still don't feel it. The yuletide season hasn't sunk in yet and I'm afraid that when Christams day arrives, I would percieve the holiday as another ordinary day of the year. I feel like I'm being jinxed every Christmas because in the past 4 years, my Christmases have been rather emotional and I don't mean it in a good way. Something bad always occurs and it's not what I want this year nor in any more years to come. I want so much things this Christmas but now, all I want is for me be okay. To believe in myself and to be able to trust the people that I love and who love me back. Oh my god here I go again with my emotional crap. I just wish that by the end of the year, everything will be fine to when I used to feel genuinely happy.

yellow cab madness

I just came back from SM Clark to search for gifts to give my parents. It's their anniversary tomorrow and I really want to make up for last year's act of stupidity and insensitivity.

I reached SM around 7.30PM. I thought I wasn't going to make it because the mall closes at 9pm and I would then only have an hour and a half to look around for possible gifts.

The department store was my first stop. It was always the first stop whenever we go to SM. I went to the kitchenware section in hopes of finding my mom the perfect gift and I surprisingly found what I was looking for. It's a cake container. Like the ones you would find in fancy pastry and cake cafes but not really lolz I got her some Ferrero chocolats as well and a big Crunch bar for my dad. As for him, I got him a USB. I know he told me not to buy him anything, but I couldn't. I even used the money for my dentist just to buy it because I really didn't want to leave him out on the gift giving. I think they'll love them. We'll see tomorrow.

I saw my friend James at the shop where I bought the USB. He and his friend, also my new found friend, Robert, were there looking for some headphones. Later on, I found out that they were meeting up with my then PDPR classmate Francis. I learned that they were all classmates in highschool which was really cool. We parted ways after, but as I was making my way out to the fountain area outside SM, I saw them again. At YELLOW CAB! Of course they had to let me join them haha It was like I was destined to see them once more.

We talked and shared a lot of laughs over a big pizza. Robert and I bought their Pistachio ice cream because he was curious what it tasted like. He said it smelled and tasted medicine but in the long run, he eventually like it. I think he was the one who had the most ice cream this evening. And because we had nothing to do, we did the most mawalang magawang bagay ever. Observe.

It's a shame that Gickr can only accommodate 10 pics per animation. This would've been funnier with the rest of the photos. Gosh we had a blast at Yellow Cab. James is hilarious! My stomach hurt a lot after this. I have a new set of buddies to be silly around with and not feel ashamed at the same time. Neat! :)

bright lights

Arence and I went to SM Pampanga last night. Even though I had this headace and he was very tired, we still managed to travel to Sn. Fdo and hangout.

We were there for the giant lanterns but unfortunately, the venue was already jam-packed with people and we weren't going to risk having our bodies squished while cramming through the dense crowd. It was obvious that the event was a success. It was like a cross between a fiesta and the TTKD only without the streets being blocked off and minus the food. I really wanted to see them but I was to lazy to move my ass out there and have my skin up against skin I don't know. Like ew? Besides, SM was open til midnight so we decided to roam the mall instead.

After going in and out of the shops, we decided to head home. Lucky us, while we were on our way to the jeepneys, they started the fireworks display. At first, we couldn't see them because we were somewhere infront of the mall and the fireworks were at the back, but after a while, the more spectacular ones where fired out and everyone watching was in awe. I had my camera in hand so I took some shots. Fireworks are really tricky to shoot by the way.

It was a dramatic display of lights. Fireworks never fail to give me this overwhelming feeling inside. Like a kid seeing them for the first time, you never want them to end. The last firework display was the best one I've seen yet. It was like it was raining fireworks. It was amazing.. and I'm glad I was with him when it happened. :)

Globe is such an ass. I guess everybody knows that already. On the way home, we saw this globe billboard and it said "TYT tayo!" What the hell does TYT mean?? Or did they just have this big tyto-graphical mistake and decided to put up the billboard anyway? They're already an ass, why add 'stupid' the their répertoire? They better straighten their shit out.

dismissed without a clue

I am so frustrated! I want to write down all about what happened yesterday but because I have this stupid headache, I can't concentrate and the overly inconsiderate person who is tending the internet cafe shop where I'm in keeps playing the song "Fashionista" over and over again and it's killing my brain! I want to burst, but because I know I'm human and not just another bubble, I won't. I will get a hold of myself and try to stay in one sane piece so I can calmly and rationally compose a freakin' entry.

(INHALES...)

(EXHALES...)

I think I'm good to go.

So.. I didn't get the job at the call center. I really wanted to but I guess it wasn't meant to be. I'm sad and disappointed and hurt. I wept and moped the whole night last night while consuming three packs of peanuts and a glass of ice cold Coke while watching Sex and the City on DVD. I now have the puffiest eye bags in the world and it's funny how they make me look chubbier and how oddly that makes me feel good even for just a little bit.

Somehow, I think I already knew. I could sense it right after leaving the VP's office after he interviewed me the other night. But I was optimistic and I didn't want to think that I wouldn't get in. The person who gave the initial interview last week confronted all the other applicants that evening right after we all finished doing the final interview so she could tell us what the next step was. She told us that she would text us the results the next morning. If we get a text from her, it means we passed but if we didn't get a text, it'll only mean that we didn't get the job. The next morning, I waited and waited for that one text message that'll completely make my day, but as 12noon arrived, I knew it.

It was hard for me to believe it but after a while, I didn't mind anymore that I didn't get in. I was just reeally stunned that I didn't. I know in my heart that I am qualified for the job, but maybe I said something that might have steered the VP away. I'm guessing that would be that I didn't have any past job experiences or that I said that I didn't know much when asked if I knew anything about the company. Whatever the reason may be, it's all okay now. I get it now, you win some you lose some.

That afternoon, I decided to go to my friend's post-birthday pool party celebration. I had this indescribably peaceful but happy feeling overcome me as I saw everybody. Being there made me forget my worries and the awful feelings that I've been experiencing all morning. We got to catch up on each other's lives and had some fun over chips and drinks. It was a real treat to see them again after so long. I miss them a lot and I'm glad that I was able to spend time with them. Real friends are rare to find, I'm glad that I already have them right here.

The morning that I was waiting for that validation, I received this text from a friend :

"don't waste a minute by not being happy..
if one window closes, run to the next window --
or break down a fuckin' door.."

It was the perfect quote I needed. It was funny and at the same time very inspiring. Maybe I'll break down a fuckin door sometime, but in the meantime, I might as well jump through open windows. Windows of more opportunities that is. :)

TO ARENCE:

♥ I LOVE YOU ♥
Ü

ex revealed

I just found out that the tattooed guy from the interview was my cousin's ex-boyfriend. I kept laughing when I found out and I really don't why. That's why he looked really familiar. I would've probably figured it out if not for his additional skin art on his arm and his long hair. Anyway, I just really thought it was funny to discover this.

I just finished having my braces adjusted and in a short while I'll be meeting Arence at SM. I'm having my final interview tonight and we're supposed to be there at 7pm. We figured that we had some time to spare, why not waste it at the mall? I hope that this final interview will be a breeze but I doubt it. The interviewer this time will be the VP of the company himself. Good Luck to me and I hope that I wont stutter and make a fool out of myself like I happen to have been the last time.

where's a pen when i really need one?

I survived my first job interview today and what an experience.

As planned, I went over to the company of my choice today with Arence. We met up around 4pm at our usual meeting place and off we went. I was wearing slacks, a collared blouse and pointy heeled shoes. I couldn't feel more uneasy wearing something so corporate again. I had my resume in hand and a handbag that I only use on occasions like these. Just like my PDPR days..

To tell you honestly, I didn't prepare for the interview. I didn't practice or anything. My resume looked like shit and the paper that the guards at the front desk gave me to answer looked as messed up as my resume. The ultimate worst thing was I wasn't bringing a PEN! Yes a freakin PEN! I am such a dimwit. I was so embarrassed when the guard gave me this look and said "Wala kang ballpen?". They were nice, courteous guards which made it even more humiliating. Total mortification of my pride right there. Anyway, I got over it eventually. Next time, I'm bringing a trusty Parker.

I won't go into details with the interview proper. It was okay, I got a bit nervous when it was my turn. I didn't know that being interviewed with other applicants at the same time could be intimidating. I didn't get the final interview today but I will go back this Friday. Hopefully I'll nail this one. The interviewer felt that she wanted me to have the final interview but she hesitated and said I need to practice more on my 'soft' voice but other than that, I was good. Out of the other nine applicants, three, including me, impressed the interviewer most. I scored points with my fluency in English. I'm grateful that I grew up in a family that used English as a medium in communicating. My years of speaking the language is finally paying off.

After one and a half hours, we were all sent home except for this one guy from FEU with cool tattoos who got the final interview tonight. Good luck to him, he's going to need all the patience in the world tonight because final interviews can reach upto three in the morning and from what I saw, he was bringing nothing but a magazine in hand. When I go back this Friday for my final interview, I'm bringing the DSLite, some food and water and my best guy friend in the world aka Arence, with me. We'll crash the waiting room and sleep everywhere haha just kidddiing.

Ended the night eating streetfood along the market area. Man were those fried lumpias delicious! and the mochi was delightful. The best 20 bucks you could ever spend on food.

popular tag

Who would've known?

Last night, I went to great lengths rummaging through every corner of my room in hopes of finding money. I wasn't lucky, not even close to forming ten pesos with the loose change I found.

I am so desperate to have money right now. My agenda for the week consist of attending two fiestas over the weekend, my barkada's baby shower, and maybe the alumni homecoming and I can't do it without any moolah in hand! I really don't know what to do? It's bad enough that I don't have any money but asking money from my folks would sound and look even worse. Man oh man do I need MONEY!

In other non-financial-crisis news, I have been promising myself to apply for this job at one of the local call centers here in the city (I bet you already know my main reason why) . Anyway, I'm still deciding if tomorrow would be a good day to go over to the company. My friend says that it's going to be a long wait but I guess it'll be worth it when I get accepted right? I haven't told my folks about this brave move yet and I actually don't plan on telling them until I get the job. The thing is, if I DO get the job, I'm risking a lot. I'm still hesitating over a lot of facts that will probably be affected if I do get in the call center business. I've got the strongest motivation but am I really ready enough for the job? I really hope I am. Lady luck, please be on my side.

Kelly Osborne's show Kelly Osbourne: Turning Japanse is premiering tonight on the Travel and Living channel. I'm so giddy with excitement. I want to become a freakin Japanese! Sayoonara!

the reason why i'm stick thin

Besides my habit of staying up til the wee hours of the morning and having a very fast metabolism, I think one of the main reasons that I'm thin as Jack Skellington is because I am not eating the right food. It's not that I don't eat the right food, it's just that the right food isn't always available.

My mother was never a fan of cooking. Because of having a carinderia in front of our house, a chain of lechon manok roasters nearby and restaurants just within the area, she has always depended on them for our basic need for food.

I hate eating charcoal roasted chicken almost everyday of the week. It makes me barf just reheating and eating the same viand on my next meal. What's worse is eating leftover food after days of being in the fridge. It's totally unappetizing if you ask me. I used to like lechon manok until we started having it for dinner everyday. Even the most scrumptious, mouthwatering and appealing dish when eaten all the time can be tiring and nauseating.

When my mom forgot that I didn't have lunch yet, I got really mad. I couldn't believe how insensitive she could be? I mean, it was already 2pm and there wasn't any food on the table and she was just in her room watching tv! If I hadn't asked why there wasn't any food, she would've probably left me starving till dinner time. She made a lame excuse of telling me that she didn't bother to cook or buy food anymore because she was going to make tacos later on. Like hello?! Starving daughter over here?? She never did cook the tacos but instead asked my dad to buy me lunch over at McDonald's. Even then, I didn't know if I would be really happy that I was having McDonald's for lunch or still get mad over the fact that she just left me starving like that.

Me and my mom... we have this love-hate relationship.
Sometimes we're like the closest of friends, and at times, the worst of mother-daughter you can imagine.
I love her eitherway...
I just wish she'd feed me that's all...